I realize how that sounds, reading it, but believe me when I say that I have no political slant on this: I’m just usually surprised when I find out that Henry Kissinger is still alive.
It’s probably an on-going thing in his life, people being surprised that he’s walking around, breathing, making opinions and popping up whenever some news channel needs political commentary on the latest hot-button international / political thing, but I’m sure that by this point in his life, he just takes a deep breath and explains, “Yez, I um steel alife; now deed you vant me to tolk about Armenia’s political upheaval or not?”
I can see that scenario happening quite a lot.
It’s not 1973 anymore, you know, so a lot more than just me are going to be watching CNN or Nightly News and see him pop up talking about government and their breath will catch, they’ll blink and shout into the other room, “Hey! You owe me fifty bucks; he’s still alive!”
Anyways, imagine my surprise when I came across THIS picture:
How’d you have liked to have been a fly on the wall during that highly-charged meeting?
PALIN – So, I hear that you’re dead.
KISSINGER – No, I am alife.
PALIN – No, I’m pretty sure you’re dead, there.
KISSINGER – Madame, I ussure you I am alife.
PALIN – But you look all bloated and splotchy, like those zombie movies my Bristol rents for her baby to watch.
KISSINGER – Zank you very much, but I am…
PALIN – In fact, do you happen to know Uwe Boll?
KISSINGER – Who?
PALIN – Uwe Boll; he directs some of those zombie movies he casts your kind in.
KISSINGER – My kind…?
PALIN – Yeah, you dead guys who aren’t really alive but not quite dead.
KISSINGER – Not only am I not knowing whom dis Hughie Bool is, I am also NOT dead, I am more than….
PALIN – Zombies!
KISSINGER – Vut?
PALIN – That’s what you are! A zombie!
KISSINGER – Madame, I am NOT a zumbee…I am German!
PALIN – I’ve seen that “Walking Dead” TV show, I know how touchy you zombies can be. Don’t take it personally, Harry.
KISSINGER – Henry.
PALIN – Right.
KISSINGER – Look; feel mein hand – do I feel cold und dead to you? At all??
PALIN – Ewww, you got your hand all warm. How’d ya do that?
KISSINGER – Hokay, you know vut, I’m dead. Fine. Zere, I am dead. Are you happy now?
PALIN – So, since we’ve cleared that up, can we talk about the political climate now?
KISSINGER – (sighs) Fine.
PALIN – Now, as concerns Syria and Somalia….
KISSINGER – Yes?
PALIN – What are your zombie brothers’ stand on the living in those parts?
KISSINGER – (under his breath) Oyyy….
And before I get into any worse political debates tonight, I’ll say Dope out.